The Book of Proverbs is filled with passages on the subject of parenting. Proverbs 29: 15 says, “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.” This passage shows the effects of both good and bad parenting. God did not create man to train himself by his own wisdom. Paul wrote, “Let no man deceive himself. If any man among you seemeth to be wise in this world, let him become a fool, that he may be wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God…” (1 Cor. 3:18-20). Parents need God’s wisdom in the inspired Word. Look at some aspects of parenting which are found in the Scriptures for instruction.
Role Models. A critical aspect of parenting is being the proper example to a child. Many children are brought into this world by some male and female, only to be abandoned for someone else to take responsibility for rearing them. There are even children who live in the same house with their biological parents, yet spend very little time with them due to busy business schedules or various personal interests that exclude the kids. Children “left to themselves” find other people or things to fill the void in place of their parents. Those “surrogates” in many cases do not hold the moral and spiritual values needed for the proper development of a child. Some professional athletes clearly proclaim, “I am not a role model,” to keep young people from following their lives in spite of their great popularity. Youth, especially adolescents, are looking to build their own identity. They see people who look successful in the media and emulate their character. Children should look to their parents for identity, Consider what Solomon said to his son: “My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of they mother: For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck” (Prov. 1:89). Again, “My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways” (Prov. 23:26). If parents abandon, abuse, or neglect their responsibility to lead, their children will look elsewhere.
Reproof. Another critical aspect of parenting is guidance and correction. Rearing an immature human being from birth to adulthood is a great challenge to all parents. Solomon said of this immature state, “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him” (Prov. 22:15; cf. 25:15). One must not take this verse by itself to be God’s total instruction for correction. Words are needed with correction. If a child does not understand why he/she received punishment for a certain act, then a perverted understanding will come of discipline. Scripture also teaches that words without penalties are incomplete guidance. “Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell” (Prove 23:13-14). Solomon is not saying a child should be abused or physically injured; the word “beat” could be translated “clap” or “to strike lightly.” Again, “Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying” (Prov. 19:18). All children need to know that freedom to choose either right or wrong does not free one from the consequences of doing wrong. The loving discipline of godly parents is far better than the cruel treatment of the far country.
Refuge. Another critical aspect of parenting is providing a safe and secure place called home. A home is not just a place where one is fed, clothed, and sheltered. Physical necessities are only a small part of the needs of children. There is the emotional, mental, and especially spiritual development that is needed by children in those critical “growing up” years. The dwelling place of the family should be a place where peace is found. It is natural for adolescents to spend more and more time away from their parents to develop relationships with others outside their own immediate family. However, some children leave because they do not consider their homes as great a refuge as they do the places where their peers reside. The turmoil lived out in so many families makes the home more a place of war than of peace. Solomon wrote, “Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith” (Prov. 15:17). Home is a place where children should want to live, not just have to live.
—Jimmy Clark
