When one lady was asked, “Have you heaped coals of fire on your enemy?” (thinking she would remember Romans 12:20, “…if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head”), she replied, “No, but I’ve tried scalding water!”
Resentment and vengeance are two ingredients for a miserable life. A happy person is a giver, a forgiver, and a thanksgiver. The Bible teaches that we are “forgiven to forgive.”
WE MUST BE FORGIVERS TO BE LIKE GOD (cf. 1 Pet, 1:15, 16). Someone said, “We are most like beasts when we kill; we are most like men when we judge; we are most like God when we forgive” (cf. Eph. 1:7). Alexander Pope said, “To err is human, to forgive divine.” There is no higher goal than to be like God, and His Son Jesus—and both are forgivers! An apostle said, “These things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous…And ye know that he was manifested to take away our sins; and in him is no sin” (1 Jn, 2:1, 3:5; cf. Isa, 53:5).
WE MUST BE FORGIVERS TO PLEASE GOD. God commanded us to forgive others (Mk. 1 Cor. 14:20; Eph. 4:32; Col. 3:13), and there are no non-essential commands in the Bible (Rev. 22:14; Jn. 14:15). When one refuses to forgive, he disobeys God and will be rejected by Him (Mt. 7:24-27; Heb. 5:8,9). Forgiveness is not optional. One might as well not take the Lord’s Supper, refuse baptism, or be unfaithful to one’s spouse, as to hold a grudge. It is a life and death matter.
WE MUST BE FORGIVERS TO BE FORGIVEN BY GOD. Jesus said, “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Mt. 6:14, 15). Since we all need forgiveness, we must all forgive. A hand closed to give forgiveness is also closed to receive forgiveness.
- Joseph forgave his brothers (Gen. 45:5-15).
- Moses forgave Miriam and Aaron (Num. 12:1-13).
- David forgave Saul (1 Sam. 24:9-22).
- The father forgave the prodigal (Lk.
).
The best illustration, perhaps, is the parable found in Matthew 18:2335. Jesus told of a servant who owed a king ten thousand talents (a tremendous sum of ten million dollars). Josephus, a first-century historian, recorded that the annual taxes for the whole region of Palestine was only about 800 talents. The man obviously could not pay the debt, so the king commanded that the servant, his wife, and his children be sold so some payment could be made. The servant fell down and begged the king saying, “Lord have patience with me and I will pay thee all.” The lord was moved with compassion and forgave him the entire debt!
The same servant then went out and found a fellow servant which owed him a hundred pence—a small amount of about fifteen dollars (only 1/600,000 of 10,000 talents). He laid his hands on his fellow servant, took him by the throat and said, “Pay me that thou owest,” Then the fellow-servant fell down and pleaded, “Have patience with me and I will pay thee all” (sound familiar?). But the servant would not be merciful. He had the fellow-servant cast into prison until he could pay the debt. When other servants saw this, they were very sorry and reported to their lord what had been done.
The lord then said to the servant who had been forgiven of the huge debt, “O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me; shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellow-servant, even as I had pity on thee?” And the king was so angry that he delivered him to tormentors, until he paid all the debt. Jesus concludes the parable by making this point: “So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.” The person who says, “I can never forgive you for that…” apparently does not realize the peril in which he places his own soul.
WE MUST FORGIVE TO BE HAPPY. If we hold grudges, harbor bitterness, hatred, and mistrust in our hearts, we will be miserable. Forgiveness brings joy (Psa. 32:1), but it must be full forgiveness. Spurgeon said, “Forgive and forget; when you bury a mad dog, don’t leave his tail above the ground.” When we forgive, we bury the hatchet—handle and all. When we sweep the floor, we don’t leave dirt behind the door. Someone said, “A grudge is one thing that does not get better when it is nursed.” To gain peace of mind, we must avoid keeping a filing system to remember offenses (cf. Heb. 8:12; 10:17).
The Civil War left a tragic aftermath of bitterness, hatred, and resentment in America. The wounds inflicted by the war were deep and painful. Though the guns fell silent, the anger continued. Many were unwilling to forget or forgive what had been done. One who refused to participate in this harvest of bitterness was General Robert E. Lee. Though Lee had headed the Confederate armies most of the Civil War, he urged reconciliation between the North and the South. He opposed the erection of Confederate monuments because they kept wartime passions alive. While visiting in a home in Lexington, Virginia, where he lived after the war, Lee was taken to the back yard where the owner showed him the mangled stump of a once beautiful tree. She explained, bitterly, how Union troops had destroyed her property. Expecting sympathy, she waited for him to share her sense of outrage. Finally, Lee spoke: “Cut it down, my dear Madam, and forget it.”
How many of us have something we need to “cut down and forget?” Paul wrote, “Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God…” (Phil. 3:13, 14). He added, “Let all bitterness…be put away from you, with all malice” (Eph. 4:31). Moses wrote, “Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself…” (Lev. 19:18). James said, “Grudge not one against another, brethren, lest ye be condemned…” (James 5:9). Too many “stumps” can make an ugly “memory lawn.”
Thackeray and Dickens, the two English literary giants of the nineteenth century, became rivals. After years of hatred, they met accidentally in London. They coldly faced each other and then turned to leave. On an impulse, Thackeray turned back and seized Dickens’ hand. Dickens was touched by the gesture, and they left smiling with the old jealousy ended. Just a few days after this incident, Thackeray died. Little did Dickens know that the next time he saw Thackeray, he would be in a casket. A writer, later recalling the st asked, “Is it not always well to seek forgiveness now?”
Is there someone you need to offer forgiveness?
