When you give a small child his first hammer, the whole world becomes a nail (T. Smothers).
Have you ever wondered why the sound of the words chocolate pudding carries farther through the air than the words pick up your toys? (S. Redifer).
And then there’s the woman who says her children are miniatures, because the miniature back is turned, they’re in trouble (F. Slater).
Two youngsters were walking home from church after listening to an impassioned sermon against the devil. “What do you think about all that devil stuff?” one asked. The other shrugged. “Well,” he said, “you know how Santa Claus turned out—it’s probably just your dad.”
Things parents would love to hear:
-Who cares if the TV is broken?
-Pass the broccoli, please…
-No, thanks. It’s too expensive…
-I’ve already made my bed…
-That’s okay. None of my friends are allowed to do it either.”
After the service was over, a four-year-old boy asked the preacher, “Were you on Noah’s ark?” The preacher replied with a laughing, yet emphatic, “No!” But the boy quickly responded with another question, “Well, how did you survive the flood?”
A small boy who had been naughty was told by his mother that he must have a spanking. He fled upstairs and hid under his bed. When his father came home, she told him what had happened. He went upstairs and proceeded to crawl under the bed toward his son. Excitedly, the boy whispered, “Hey, Dad. Is she after you, too?”
“Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate” ~ Psalm 127:3-5
