DATE THOSE WHO SHARE YOUR VIEWS (1 Corinthians 15:33; 2 Corinthians 6:14). If you do not, then you may find yourself in a situation where your date is expecting sex and becomes frustrated, angry, and violent if you do not provide it. Date rape can be coerced, both physically and emotionally. Some emotional tactics include:

• Threats to reputation (“I’ll tell everyone you’re gay.”)

• Threats to not like you

• Name calling

• Saying you “brought it on” or “really want it”

• Threats to break up

• Threats to say you did it even if you didn’t.

This is nothing but extortion, which both the law and the Bible condemns (Matthew 23:25; Luke 18:11; 1 Corinthians 5:10–11; 6:10). If someone makes such a threat, tell them your mind is made up and if they want to break up, then so be it. You are better off keeping your purity and your soul and finding another boyfriend. There is nothing you can do to stop him from lying about you, but you can tell the truth, and your reputation will not be hurt as much by his lie as by your actual sin of fornication. Even if you give in and he does not tell his friends what you did (which is unlikely), the chances are that you will one day break up; then he is likely to brag to others about his “conquest.”

Don’t just assume that someone who wants to date you shares your views on sex. You are a servant of Jesus Christ (Colossians 4:12); many in this generation only serve “divers lusts and pleasures” (Titus 3:3) and walk “after their own lusts” (Jude 1:16). Some will pretend to love you but really are only “lovers of their own selves” (2 Timothy 3:2). Don’t be naïve—those who ask you for a date may not respect others as they should.

• According to one survey, 50% of high school boys and 42% of girls said there were times it was acceptable for a male to hold a female down and physically force her.[1]

• In another survey, 33% of males surveyed said they would commit rape if they definitely could escape detection.[2]

• 25% of men surveyed believed that rape was acceptable if the woman asks the man out.[3]

Where do men (and girls) get ideas like this? It is a theme of some of the music coming out of their iPod buds. For instance, in 1993 Nirvana released what was listed as “one of the hottest songs” entitled “Rape Me,” which included the phrase “rape me” no less than thirty times, as well as “waste me” once.[4]

Moving from the theoretical to reality,

• 7% to 25% of college males report having forced sexual intercourse with a woman.[5]

• According to University Health Services Tang Center, one in twelve college males admit to having committed acts that met the legal definition of rape.

• The Florida Institute of Technology reports that one in four college men admit to the use of sexual aggression with women.[6]

• Sixteen percent of the male students who committed rape and ten percent of those who attempted a rape took part in episodes involving more than one attacker.

Solomon’s words are appropriate: “A prudent man [or woman] foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself [herself]: but the simple pass on, and are punished [hurt]” (Proverbs 22:3).

TAKE THE THREAT OF RAPE SERIOUSLY. Some young women tune out information about rape with a dismissive, “It’ll never happen to me.” Solomon said, “A wise man [woman] feareth, and departeth from evil: but the fool rageth, and is confident” (Proverbs 14:16).

There is a very real chance that you could become the victim of rape. Date rape is the most common form of rape (78%) and is one of the fastest growing crimes among college-age Americans (cf. Hebrews 13:4).

• Sexual violence has now surpassed theft as the number one security concern at U.S. universities.

• A national survey indicated that 15% of women students on college campuses will become victims of rape and 11% will be victims of attempted rape.[7]

• Of 1,000 representative female students at a large urban university, over half had experienced some form of unwanted sex. Twelve percent of these acts were perpetrated by casual dates and 43% by steady dating partners.[8]

• According to the University of Florida police (one of the largest campuses in the nation) 84% of women who were raped knew their assailants[9] (this figure is consistent with nationwide figures).