Date Rape and the Bible: Part 2

Allen Webster

Topic(s): Moral Issues, Sin

Links to this entire series:

• Date Rape and the Bible: Part 1
• Date Rape and the Bible: Part 2
• Date Rape and the Bible: Part 3
• Date Rape and the Bible: Part 4
• Date Rape and the Bible : Part 5

Rapes take place over the objection and reason of the girl. Tamar said to Amnon, “Do not force me; for no such thing ought to be done in Israel: do not thou this folly. And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? and as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel” (2 Samuel 13:12–13). She tried to reason with him, to get him to pity her or to respect himself. He would hear none of it. He knew that Jonadab would be asking about his conquest. His shriveled heart was set on one thing, and no amount of tears or words would turn it from its gratification. So “he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her” (13:14).

How many girls have repeated that scene through the years since David sat on Israel’s throne? They’ve begged, cajoled, distracted, threatened, cried, and screamed, but all fell on ears made deaf by the pounding of adrenalin and desire.

Rape in a dating relationship genders strong emotions and often destroys the relationship. The boy may think it is over once he drops her off at her dorm or front step, but he is not ready for the unreturned phone calls, the icy stares, the fearful glance, the cold shoulder. He did not bargain for the bitterness, nor did he foresee the finality of the act. Things are not the same after rape.

Also, his own guilt may drive a wedge between them. He may loathe himself, or in some twisted way blame her for what he did. “Then Amnon hated her exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her” (2 Samuel 13:15). Amnon hated Tamar after he violated her. Make sense of that and you might deserve a degree in psychology.

When the deed is done, the perpetrator may lose interest in the victim, and will want to act as if it had not happened. “Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone” (2 Samuel 13:15).

The victim is left to deal with the consequences. Tamar said unto Amnon, “There is no cause: this evil in sending me away is greater than the other that thou didst unto me” (2 Samuel 13:16). But he would not hearken unto her.

Rape victim “Alissa” (06-13-07) wrote:

You come You go
Nothing changes for u
You just felt good
But for me My life is no longer the same
i cant trust
i cant think
i can no longer be me :( [1]

“Bethany,” another victim, wrote: “Your touch brings pain/I can never feel love/for that night scar[red] me for life/just for 10 mins of bliss.”

To Protect Yourself from Date Rape...

HAVE A BIBLICAL VIEW OF HUMAN SEXUALITY.

Sex is not meant to be something:

• that is the only way to “prove your love” (Proverbs 1:10).

• you feel pressured or forced into (Joshua 24:15)

• you do because “everybody else is doing it” (Exodus 23:2)

• you can’t keep yourself from doing if you are in “love” with someone (1 Corinthians 9:27).

• that makes you feel used.

A biblical view of human sexuality includes:

• God made us “male” and “female” (Genesis 1:27–28).

• God intended for sex to be an enjoyable part of a married couples’ life (Genesis 2:24; Proverbs 5:15–18; 1 Corinthians 7:1–5; Hebrews 13:4).

• God never intended for sex to be a part of the dating relationship (1 Corinthians 6:16–19; Galatians 5:19–21; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3–4; Hebrews 13:4).

• God expects us to remain holy throughout our lives. “For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness” (1 Thessalonians 4:7).

• Fathers are to be the protectors of their daughters’ purity and pleasure. “But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry. Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well” (1 Corinthians 7:36–37).

Having a biblical view of sex will not likely make you the most popular person in school (cf. Galatians 1:10), but it will gain you some recognition in heaven (cf. Matthew 10:32). Robert Frost wrote in his poem, The Road Less Traveled,

Two roads diverged in a wood

And I took the one less traveled by

And that has made all the difference.