Topic(s): Humor

George was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.

George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked “Is someone in your house?” and he said no. Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available.

George said, “Okay,” hung up, counted to thirty, and phoned the police again.

“Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, don’t have to worry about them now ‘cause I’ve just shot them all.” Then he hung up.

Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up at George’s residence.

Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed. One of the policemen said to George: “I thought you said that you’d shot them!”

George said, “I thought you said there was nobody available!” —from Mikey's Funnies

“Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds. “ —Colossians 3:9

College Advice

Topic(s): Wisdom

• Don’t look at anything in a physics lab.
• Don’t taste anything in a chemistry lab.
• Don’t smell anything in a biology lab.
• Don’t touch anything in a medical lab. And, most important,
• Don’t listen to anything in a philosophy department.

“Prove all things; hold fast that which is good.” —1 Thessalonians 5:21

Quoted:

Topic(s): Wisdom

• “The lazier a man is, the more he is going to do tomorrow.” —Norwegian proverb
• “The basic question is not how much of our money should we give to God, but how much of God’s money should we keep for ourselves.” —J. Oswald Sanders
• “Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” —T. S. Eliot

Entertainment Addiction: Part 1

Topic(s): Priorities

Links to this entire series:

• Entertainment Addiction: Part 1
• Entertainment Addiction: Part 2

It seems that people can become addicted to anything these days: alcohol, drugs, nicotine, gambling, sex, plastic surgery, shopping. You name it, someone’s probably addicted to it. One thing to add to the list is entertainment addiction. Americans spend more and more time pursuing various means of entertainment. Television is a great example. When I was a child, we had an antenna on top of the house that picked up about four channels on a good day. Today, with cable and satellite dishes, TV viewers can choose from hundreds of different channels. Just think of all the different ways entertainment affects our lives. We have become a society that expects to be entertained everywhere we go.

Generally speaking, addictions are bad and entertainment addiction is no exception. The only exception that comes to mind is the household of Stephanas in Corinth, who had “addicted themselves to the ministry of the saints” (1 Corinthians 16:15). One of the bad things about addictions is that they have a negative impact on so many other aspects of life. Think of the ways entertainment addiction negatively affects other areas of life.

First, it places an undue emphasis on pleasure and fun. The word entertainment is defined as, “Something that amuses, pleases, or diverts, especially a performance or show” (The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language). There is nothing wrong with pleasure, and there is nothing wrong with seeking to be amused. However, there is great danger in developing an attitude of expecting those things in every facet of life. In Jesus’ Parable of the Sower, one of the things that He said choked out the seed in the thorny ground was “the pleasures of this life” (Luke 8:14). Paul warned about some who were “lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God” (2 Timothy 3:4). Solomon said, “I said in mine heart, Go to now, I will prove thee with mirth, therefore enjoy pleasure: and, behold, this also is vanity. I said of laughter, It is mad: and of mirth, What doeth it?” (Ecclesiastes 2:1–2). There are many things in life about which we need to take a serious attitude. The apostles encouraged us to be sober (1 Thessalonians 5:6–8; 1 Peter 5:8), which means to be clear and rational in our thinking and self-controlled in our actions.

Second, it tends to make us self-centered. Entertainment is all about personal preferences. When we let our personal preferences dictate what we do in serving God, we have ceased to serve God and have begun to serve self. This attitude is prevalent in the new styles of worship being promoted in many churches today. They emphasize what is appealing to the worshiper rather than seeking to honor the Lord’s commands. Consequently, the standard of judgment for all actions eventually becomes, “Do I like it?” Jesus explained the servant’s mindset and showed that it is not one of self-service. —Kevin D. Beard

They Didn’t Lose Their Sense of Humor

Topic(s): Humor

Jeanne Calment, at 120 years, was the oldest living human whose birth date could be authenticated. When asked to describe her vision for the future, she replied, “Very brief.”

From Win Arn comes another quip about an aging woman. When the reporter asked the birthday girl what she liked best about being 102 years old, she answered, “No peer pressure.”

Finally, John Fetterman in Madison, Wisconsin, told of an elderly woman who died last April. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, “They wouldn’t take me out while I was alive, I don’t want them to take me out when I’m dead.” (Humorama newsletter)

“A merry heart doeth good . . . ” —Proverbs 17:2