Todd Clippard

Topic(s):  Christian Life, Church

Consider Matthew 18:15-17 . . .

"Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.  But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.  And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican."

This is the God-given procedure for conflict resolution in matters pertaining to private sins between two brethren.  Unfortunately, this passage is one of the most ignored among all the commands of the New Testament.  In most cases, the offended one tells everyone else what the offender has done before trying to correct the problem as Jesus commands.

Take note how the three steps are to be followed:

1) If my brother sins against me, I am to go to him and explain, or convince him of his error.  It may be the brother is unaware of his sin.  Therefore, it behooves me to speak to him in such a way as to help him to "hear me."  Remember!  "A soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.  The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright, but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness" (Prov 15:1).  The attitude of the offended may be the most vital element in conflict resolution 

2) If your brother will not hear you when you plead your cause, then you are to take two or three witnesses, (not friends as noted in your inquiry), that every word may be established.  What is meant in this latter phrase is not that they are witnesses to the offense in question, but that they are present to hear the case before them, and are able render an unbiased judgment as to whom, if anyone, has been wronged.  Taking one's friends gives the appearance of bias and "ganging up on" the offending brother.  An elder, deacon, or preacher may make appropriate witnesses, and I would always advise that at lease one witness be an elder (if possible).  Perhaps an older brother or sister who is highly respected by the offending one should be included.

3) But if the offender will not hear these brethren, then the matter must be brought to the attention of the church.  It then becomes the responsibility of every church member to seek out the offending brother and plead with him to repent and correct the situation.  This may take several days, perhaps a few weeks.  If the offender will not hear the church, then the church is to shun that brother; they must withdraw themselves from the disorderly member (2 Thes 3:6, 14).  He is not to be treated as an enemy, but to be admonished as a brother (2 Thes 3:15).  With such an one, we are commanded not even to eat with them (1 Cor 5:11).

Withdrawing fellowship from an unrepentant brother is the last step in a series of loving admonitions to convert the sinner from the error of his way to save his soul from death (James 5:19-20).

Tragically, most churches do not practice any form of discipline today.  Because of this, members feel no shame about their sin and no responsibility to live lives of holiness (Heb 12:14; 1 Peter 1:15-16; 2 Cor 7:1).  Undoubtedly many Christians will lose their souls because the church has failed to practice that which is clearly and unequivocally commanded by our Lord and His apostles.