Topic(s): Humor

During an attack of laryngitis, I lost my voice completely for two days. To help me communicate with him, my husband devised a system of taps. One tap meant, “Give me a kiss,” two taps meant “No,” three taps meant “Yes,” and 95 taps meant “Take out the garbage.”

“He that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast.” —Proverbs 15:15

Overcoming Snoring

Topic(s): Marriage, Wisdom

The marriage bed is a powerful symbol of wedded bliss. But according to a National Sleep Foundation (NSF) poll, 12 percent of married adults are sleeping in separate beds—in most cases just to get a good night’s rest. Check out the following results from a survey that show how your bedmate’s snoring, restlessness, and mattress hogging can negatively impact your sleep.

• Men who snore a few nights a week: 40%
• Women who snore a few nights a week: 31%
• Men who sleep less because of bedmate: 17%
• Women who sleep less because of bedmate: 30%

So what’s the solution?

• Push twin beds together to make your spouse’s movements less disruptive.
• Sleep together every other night. “We can all handle one night of poor sleep, but after two or three, we’re in trouble,” says Sheila Goss, a marriage and family therapist.
• Begin the night in the same bed, then separate and reunite for a morning cuddle. “There is no wrong sleeping arrangement as long as a couple maintains intimacy, even if it has to be scheduled,” says Goss. “A ‘you come to my bed Tuesday and Thursday, and I come to yours Monday and Wednesday’ system can heighten expectations —and fun.” —Ladies’ Home Journal (October 2004)

A Different Kind of Family Debt

Topic(s): Family

What parents do not owe their children:

• The latest fashion (Acts 10:34–35; 1 Timothy 2:9–10; James 2:1–10). We need to teach our kids to earn admiration and respect through character and not clothing.
• The hottest toys and games (Ecclesiastes 1:4, 8). Look through your house at all the “gotta have it” toys that haven’t been touched in months. I wrapped all these one year and gave them as anonymous gifts to needy families. Not once did anyone ask “what happened to my . . . ?” or “where is my . . . ?”
• A car and money to burn (1 Timothy 6:10–11). There’s nothing inherently wrong with buying your kids a car, but most 16-year-olds think they are OWED a car at 16. Take a group to the mall or on a youth trip and see who has the most spending money—it’s not the adults!
• A life free from pain or embarrassment. The Bible says that all who would live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution (2 Timothy 3:12). Peter said, “If any man suffer as a Christian, let him not be ashamed; but rather glorify God” (1 Peter 4:16).

What parents do owe their children:

• A godly example (Psalm 85:13; cf. 1 Peter 2:21–22). Jesus gave His disciples an example (John 13:15), as Paul did his (1 Corinthians 11:1).
• A good name (Proverbs 22:1).
• A peaceful home (Proverbs 21:9; cf. 25:24).
• Objectivity (Proverbs 19:18). Everyone (including teachers, the police, etc.) is not “out to get” your child.
• Structure and discipline (1 Samuel 3:13). Children need discernable boundaries. Children need to understand the consequences of violating the boundaries.

What children owe their parents:

• Love — (1 John 4:19).
• Respect (Ephesians 6:1–3) — For the name they wear, especially when their parents aren’t around.
• Obedience — The word obey in Ephesians 6:1 is from Greek the compound hupakouo (hupo = under + akouo = hear or give the ear to). Literally it means “to listen with the intent to obey” (cf. 1 Samuel 3:9–10).
• Submission — (1 Peter 5:5).
• Proper care when they become aged — (Proverbs 23:22; 1 Timothy 5:4). The word despise in the phrase “despise not thy mother when she is old” means to hold in contempt or as insignificant (it is an antonym of reverence). Your parents helped you with your first steps; help them with their last. Your parents made sure your home was clean and your food was hot—don’t let them live in squalor. If you can’t take care of your parents, find someone who can. First Timothy 5:8 says that a failure to properly care for your parents disrespects them, disgraces the church, denies the faith, and damns your soul.

Be sure to pay all your family debts! —Todd Clippard, Hamilton, Alabama

Scary Grandmother

Topic(s): Humor

After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, “Who was THAT?”