Topic(s): Marriage

Married men—regardless of age, race, income, or education—consistently have been found to be healthier than men who are single, divorced, or widowed. This so-called “marriage benefit” begins to kick in right after the wedding, then builds. Husbands ages 18 to 44 are strikingly healthier than bachelors of the same age. At every age, in fact, marriage not only protects men’s health but also prolongs their lives. —Gail Sheehy, Parade Magazine

“Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing.” —Proverbs 18:22 

Building Boundaries

Topic(s): Marriage

Simply hoping that infidelity will never touch marriage is a luxury no couple can afford. Here are five guidelines for establishing workplace boundaries that will demonstrate your commitment to your spouse and safeguard your marriage:

1. Don’t verbalize your feelings to the one to whom you feel attracted. Instead, tell a friend who will hold you accountable.
2. Avoid the coworker’s office, favorite lunch spots, or gathering places.
3. Turn down projects that call for the two of you to work together alone.
4. If you must have a lunch meeting or business agenda with the person, make sure you do so in a public place.
5. Don’t dwell on compliments or flirtatious conversations with a coworker.

Escape routes: take a walk, read your Bible, pray, immerse yourself in a project, force yourself to think about every negative consequence of allowing a relationship. —Cindy Sigler Dagnana

Sixteen Ways to Help Your Family by Reducing Stress

Topic(s): Family, Priorities, Wisdom

1. Simplify and unclutter your life. Less is more.
2. Go to bed on time and get up on time so you can start the day fresh and unrushed.
3. Tell your spouse you love him or her every day, at different times.
4. Say “no” to projects that won’t fit into your time schedule. Seriously.
5. Slow down. Read a book, color a page, or play a game with a child.
6. Delegate tasks to capable others.
7. Laugh.
8. Laugh some more! A whole lot.
9. Take one day at a time. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it does not happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.
10. Allow extra time to get to places.
11. Develop a forgiving attitude—most people are doing the best they can.
12. Be kind to unkind people—they probably need it the most.
13. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.
14. Live within your budget; don’t use credit cards for unbudgeted purchases.
15. Take your work seriously, but not yourself.
16. Every night before bed, think of one thing you are grateful for that you have never been grateful for before.

“Come ye yourselves apart into a desert place, and rest a while” —Mark 6:31

Holding Hands Helps

Topic(s): Marriage

In the first study of how human touch affects the body’s response to stress and threatening situations, Dr. James Coan, a psychologist in the departments of psychology and neuroscience at the University of Virginia, recruited married volunteers, slid them into MRI machines and warned them to expect an electric shock on their ankles. When spouses reached into the machines to hold their respective partner’s hand—a simple yet loving gesture of support—the part of the brain that registers the anticipation of pain “turned off.” The volunteers also said that they felt less distress.

The hand-holding also reduced agitation in the hypothalamus, the area of the brain that controls the release of stress hormones, which turn off our immune function. Eventually, a weakened immune system can make us sick.

“We can’t see what our spouses are doing to our brains and emotions until a stressful event arises, but it’s going on all the time,” says Dr. Coan. “When a wife holds or caresses her husband, she is really reaching into the deepest parts of his brain, calming down the neural-threat response.”

Can it be that easy access to a wifely hug after a fall-out with a neighbor or a pounding on the golf course is as potent as a tranquilizer or a beta-blocker? It starts with the simple act of holding hands and hugging—long and loving embraces, several times a day—according to the latest science.