Topic(s): Humor

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else stops to listen.

MAN: “Hello.”
WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”
M: “Yes.”
W: “I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?”
M: “Sure, if you like it that much.”
W: “I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2006 models. I saw one I really liked.”
M: “How much?”
W: “$60,000.”
M: “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.”
W: “Great! Oh, and one more thing… The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking $950,000.”
M: “Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer 900,000.”
W: “OK. See you later! I love you!”
M: “Bye. I love you, too.”

He hangs up. The other men are looking at him
in astonishment. Then he asks: “Anyone know
who this phone belongs to?”

“Rejoice evermore” —1 Thessalonians 5:16
 

Become More Desirable

Topic(s): Humor, Marriage

QUESTION: If you were looking for a new spouse, which ONE thing would be most important? Of the 3,878 participants who took the survey, they responded as follows:

• 11% Chose Good Looks

• 17% Chose Money

• 26% Chose Intelligence

• 43% Chose Sense of Humor

It looks like 43% of us could increase our attractiveness to our spouse with a little effort.

The Importance of Fathers

Topic(s): Children, Father

In a recent issue of In Character, James Q. Wilson talks about yet another reason having a father in the home is so critical for the future of our society: “After holding income constant, boys in father-absent families were twice as likely as those in two-parent ones to go to jail, and girls in father-absent families were twice as likely as those in married families to have an out-of-wedlock birth. What all of this means for the rest of society is evident on the evening news programs. Boys without married fathers populate our street gangs, and these gangs are responsible for an inordinately high level of violence. We rely on the police to control gangs, but the important, and often absent, control is that exercised by fathers.

“A boy growing up without a father has no personal conception of what it means to acquire skills, find a job, support a family, and be loyal to one’s wife and children. Research on the link between unemployment rates and crime has shown that the connection is very weak. The connection between crime and father absence is much higher. Boys in single-parent families are also more likely to be idle rather than in school or unemployed and to drop out of high school. These differences are as great for white families as for black and Hispanic ones and as large for advantaged children as for disadvantaged ones.”

—http://www.incharacter.org/article.php?article=46

“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD: and he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.” —Malachi 4:5–6

"Be" Before Them

Topic(s): Family

Statistics show that entire families who begin the day with hot food, encouraging words, and affection do their respective tasks more efficiently during the time they are apart.

The unfortunate ones who leave each other after a quarrel do not fare as well. Unhappy or stressed students make poorer grades in school and do not get along with others as well as children who leave home with a positive attitude. It is the responsibility of parents to instill in their children positive attitudes, as well as a depth of love and forgiveness that make for peace in families. This is best done by example. Be before them what you want them to become. —Frances Parr

“ And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works” —Hebrews 10:24

Epitath Adjustment

Topic(s): Moral Issues

A new widow requested the epitaph “Rest in Peace” for her husband’s tombstone. When she later found he had left his fortune to his mistress, she attempted to get the engraver to change the carving. This was impossible; the words were chiseled and could not be changed. “In that case,” she said, “please add, ‘Till We Meet Again.’”

“But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul” —Proverbs 6:32

Presidential Wisdom

Topic(s): Love, Nature of Man

“There are men and women who make the world better just by being the kind of people they are. They have the gift of kindness or courage or loyalty or integrity. It really matters very little whether they are behind the wheel of a truck or running a business or bringing up a family. They teach the truth by living it.”—James A. Garfield, 20th U.S. President