Topic(s): Family, Love, Marriage

Here’s a bit of interesting news. An insurance company’s study showed that husbands who receive a good morning kiss from their wives are often happier and more successful.

• Husbands who kiss their wives each morning before work usually live five years longer than those who do not.
• A kissing husband has fewer automobile accidents, loses up to 50% less time from work because of illness, and earns 20-30% more.

This study should remind us of Paul’s exhortation, “Husbands, love your wives” (Ephesians 5:25). Expressing our love for our spouses, whether by a good morning kiss or by other kindnesses, will result in a happier marriage and a better life. Following God’s instruction for marriage can make a bad marriage good and a good marriage better.
                                                                                      —Tom Keener

...And Talking

Topic(s): Family, Marriage

In a Harvard study of several hundred preschoolers, researchers discovered an interesting phenomenon. As they taped children’s playground conversation, they realized that the sounds coming from little girls’ mouths were recognizable words. However, only 60 percent of little boys’ sounds were words. The other 40 percent were yells and sound effects like “Vrrrooooom!” “Aaaaagh!” and “Toot toot!” This difference persists into adulthood.

Communication experts say the average woman speaks over 25,000 words a day, while the average man speaks only a little over 10,000. What does this mean in marital terms? An average wife says she needs to spend 45 minutes to an hour each day in meaningful conversation with her husband. What does the husband sitting next to her say? Fifteen to twenty minutes—once or twice a week!

"Guy Things"

Topic(s): Children, Family, Father

ABC’s poplar news show, 20/20, recently ran a segment on fathers. I was most impressed with a little fellow who has never met his father, but wants to. The interviewer asked, “What do you want to do with your father?” The boy’s simple answer was “guy things.”

We have a fatherhood crisis on our hands and some observers predict dire consequences if we don’t reverse it. One family life expert told ABC, “If we don’t reverse the trend toward fatherlessness, we are going to be a nation in decline.” I would like to think that’s an exaggeration, but every time I look at the statistical data on the current status of fatherhood, I feel a little nauseous. Let me just share a few stats to illustrate:

• On any given night, 40 percent of children go to sleep without a father in the home.
• Twenty-seven percent (18 million) of American children grow up in a single-parent home. Of these, only one out of eight is headed by a father. (source: Stephen Sumerel, director of Family Life and Substance Abuse, North Carolina.)
• In the state of Louisiana, 32 percent of children live in poverty; 35 percent live in single parent homes.

Social critic John Leo worries that we may even be approaching a time when fathers are viewed as “troublesome, marginal, and essentially irrelevant inseminators.” Daniel Blankenhorn, author of Fatherless America, laments the fact that the phrase “good family man” has almost disappeared from our language.

Children of both sexes need male role models, communication with males, and male instruction to become healthy adults. We all know single mothers who have done well in parenting their children (cf. 2 Timothy 1:5), but that’s the exception rather than the rule. The Bible clearly makes fathers responsible for passing on spiritual instruction: “Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).

All four of my children live several hundred miles away so we don’t get together very often. When we are together, my boys and I talk about “guy” things and do “guy” things. I’m still enjoying the afterglow of watching a minor league baseball game with my son and grandson. I have a precious granddaughter, but she and her mother had to leave early to enroll my granddaughter at Christian camp. My son and grandson stayed on for a few more days. We did a lot of “guy” things. We went fishing, visited a military museum, took in the baseball game, and then threw all dignity to the winds and attended the stockcar races at our local dirt track.

What really impressed me the most, however, was the way my son and grandson interacted with each other. They played computer games together, laughed together and sometimes, you could see them just lying on their backs and talking with one another. A couple of days after they left, the two of them visited a Civil War battlefield together. Because they do “guy” things, they also have open discussions about truth, values, and morality.

Girls also need fathers. Fathers provide a sense of security and strength during a girl’s formative years. Fathers provide daughters with a role model when they look for a husband. For twenty-nine years, I’ve been the number one man in my only daughter’s life. I’m getting ready to pass the baton to a young man who will reduce me in rank to number two. I’m having a little bit of emotional difficulty in accepting that role. A few days ago, she and I were talking about her upcoming marriage. She said, “Dad, I really have a lot of your qualities.” In half-hearted attempt at humor, I said, “Unfortunately, you do.” She said, “No, Dad. The best qualities I have, I got from you.” Needless to say, Dad’s buttons were about ready to pop off his shirt. At that moment, I really came to understand how important “guy things” are to daughters.

The television people found the father of the little boy who wanted to do “guy things” with his Dad. They showed him a videotape of their interview with the boy. His response? He said, “I’m not into parenting.” Excuse me, but that’s not going to cut it.

Hang in there, Dads. You play a vital role in the shaping of your children and ultimately in the shaping of society.
                                                                                 —Norman Bates