Topic(s): Christian Life, Children, Family

I ran into a stranger as he passed by, “Oh excuse me please” was my reply.
He said, “Please excuse me too; I wasn’t watching for you.”

We were very polite, this stranger and I. We went on our way and we said good-bye.
But at home a different story is told, How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
“Move out of the way,” I said with a frown.
He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn’t realize how harshly I’d spoken.

As I later lay awake in bed,
Troubling thoughts went through my head,
While dealing with strangers, courtesy I use, But the family I love, I seem to abuse.

I went to look on the kitchen floor,
And found some flowers near the door.
Those are the flowers he brought for me.
He picked them himself: blue and yellow to see
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise, I never saw the tears that filled his little eyes.

By this time, I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
“Wake up, little one, wake up,” I said.
“Are these the flowers you picked for me?”

He smiled, “I found ‘em, out by the tree.
I picked ‘em because they’re pretty like you.
I knew you’d like ‘em, especially the blue.”
I said, “Son, I’m very sorry for the way I acted today; I shouldn’t have yelled at you that way.”

He said, “Oh, Mom, that’s okay.
I love you anyway.”
I said, “Son, I love you too,
and I do like the flowers, especially the blue.”

Momma, Can We Cuss?

Topic(s): Family

First, let me tell you that the very question is so sad. The querist was a 10-year-old boy on the same football team as one of my sons. I did not hear him ask it, but his mom, who sat in a chair within ear shot of mine, was telling another mom about her conversation with the child. It was obvious that he saw raw language as a rite of passage into manhood. How profoundly misguided. But he didn’t ask to cuss all the time—just on the way home from football. She said, “Sure.”

Her answer is appalling for two reasons. First, it shows she has been brainwashed by situation ethics. The idea that something can be sinful (though I do not think she would be of such strong conviction of foul language) in one context but not in another is textbook situationism. Is stealing OK if one really wants those shoes and the department store will never miss a few dollars? Is assault acceptable if the antagonist is really annoying? So sad that the opportunity to discourage wrong behavior was instead permitted it because of a self-(mis)guided standard (cf. Jeremiah 10:23). Her answer is also appalling because it reflects an erosion of morality by many in a position of great responsibility and authority with children—including parents, teachers, and coaches.

Her own language betrayed her weakness in this area. Are you picturing a lower class, redneck type? Think again, this woman and her husband are well-to-do, well-placed members of our community. They have a surface facade of decorum and sophistication but are betrayed by what comes from within. That is not to judge their hearts but simply to quote Jesus, who said, “That which cometh out of the man, that defileth the man. For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, blasphemy, pride, foolishness: all these evil things come from within, and defile the man” (Mark 7:20-23).

So many of those involved with our boys’ football have remarkably high moral standards. At this same scrimmage, my son reports of the team being led in not one but two prayers. The coaches have yet to say, even under the stress of a game situation, so much as one curse word. We are glad to have such role models for our son.

Every Day is A Vacation With Her

Topic(s): Marriage

I had never before seen the gentleman who uttered these words. He was in a wheel chair, so I yielded to him as we entered the men’s room at the Sugarlands Visitor’s Center near Gatlinburg, Tennessee. Just outside the door his wife was talking with another lady about his physical condition and their vacation, perhaps their last. As he came out, the lady said, “Mr. Jones, I sure hope you have a good vacation.” In a somewhat labored but very discernible voice, he said, “Every day is a vacation with her!” How thoughtful and sweet! The smile on his wife’s face betrayed her gratitude for the compliment.

If more husbands and wives spent more time saying such things to each other, fewer marriages would end in divorce. Selfishness is a stake driven into the heart of many marriages. Yet here was a gentleman, who may have had reason to feel sorry for himself, doing his best to make his wife feel better. I’m convinced this is a part of what the Good Book means when it states, “Husbands, love your wives . . .” (Ephesians 5:25).

Marriage, home, and family are important parts of God’s plan for the human race. Not only did God institute marriage, He regulates it through His Word (see Genesis 2:15-25; Matthew 19:3-9; Colossians 3:18-21) The Bible is still the best “Marriage Manual.” While there are many ingredients in God’s recipe for a good marriage, the “three Cs” are crucially important.

Commitment. Webster defines “commitment” as “an agreement or pledge to do something in the future.” When a man and a woman pledge their love and loyalty to one another they become obligated to each other. Some who say “I do,” don’t! Commitment must be taken seriously. No marriage can succeed without it.

Companionship. Spending time together is critical. “Fellowship” (which Webster gives as a synonym for “companionship”) is as important in the home as in the church. It gives strength and encouragement. Serious problems are not as likely if a husband and wife work hard at developing companionship.

Communication. It isn’t enough just to be together, however. That togetherness must include communication. All members of a family need to know they are loved, respected, and appreciated.
All of us need to occasionally hear, “Every day is a vacation with her (him)!” —Edward Anderson, Carthage, Tennessee