Topic(s): Family, Children, Parenting

A child’s eyes see his Mom and Dad differently at as they age:
Age 4: “My parents can do anything.”
Age 8: “There might be a few things they don’t know.”
Age 12: “Naturally, they don’t get it.”
Age 14: “I never realized how hopelessly old fashioned they are!”
Age 21: “You would expect them to feel that way. They’re out-of-date.”
Age 25: “They get an idea now and then.”
Age 30: “I wonder what Mom and Dad think?”
Age 40: “Let’s wait until we discuss it with our parents.”
Age 50: “What would Mom or Dad have thought about it?”
Age 60: “I wish I could talk it over with them one more time.”

“...honor thy father and mother...” Eph. 6:2

Are All the Children In?”

Topic(s): Family, Children, Parenting

A devout mother with a large and busy family, composed mostly of boys, lived in the country. In most seasons that meant the children were constantly out of doors, coming and going with work or play—checking in at mealtimes, but soon off again at full speed.

As twilight drew its curtains across the end of e each day, she would count her brood; concerned when not all could be found at home. “Are all the children in?” she would ask her oldest son. And as the darkness grew, so did her anxiety if any were missing. “Not all in? Go! Ring the bell again!” she would exclaim. She could not rest easy until she was assured that all were safe within.

I told that story at my mother’s funeral, years ago—for she was just such a mother. I knew it had been her concern for years that all her children be gathered safe against the night, within the Savior’s bosom.

“Are all the children in?” is the abiding concern of every godly mother and father. Though sons and daughters grow up, move away, and have families of their own: still across the years, and spreading to grandchildren
and even great-grandchildren, the call continues: “Are all the children in?”

—Ted Kyle
“Is the young man...safe?” 2 Sam. 18:29

Three “R’s” of Parenting

Topic(s): Family

The Book of Proverbs is filled with passages on the subject of parenting. Proverbs 29:15 says, “The rod an reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.” This passage shows the effects of both good and bad parenting. God did not create man to train himself by his own wisdom. Paul wrote, “Let no man deceive himself. If any man among you seemeth to be wise in this world, let him become a fool, and he may be wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God...” (1 Cor. 3:18-20). Parents need God’s wisdom in the inspired word. Look at some aspects of parenting which are found in the Scriptures for instruction.

Role Models.

A critical aspect of parenting is being the proper example to a child. Many children are brought into this world by some male and female only to be abandoned for someone else to take responsibility for rearing them. There are even children who live in the same house with their biological parents, yet spend very little time with them due to busy business schedules or various personal interests that exclude the kids. Children “left to themselves” find other people or things to fill up the void in place of their parents. Those surrogates” in many cases do not hold the moral and spiritual values needed for the proper development of a child. Some professional athletes clearly proclaim “I am not a role model” to keep young people from following their lives in spite of their great popularity. Youth, especially adolescents, are looking to build their own identity. They see people who look successful in the media and emulate their character. Children should look to their parents for identity. Consider what Solomon said to his son:“My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of they mother: For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck” (Prov. 1:8-9). Again, “My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways” (Prov.23:26). If parents abandon, abuse, or neglect their responsibility to lead, their children will look elsewhere.

Reproof.

Another critical aspect of parenting is guidance and correction. Rearing an immature human being from birth to adulthood is a great challenge to all parents. Solomon said of this immature state, “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him” (Prov. 22:15; cf. 25:15). One must not take this verse by itself to be God’s total instruction for correction. Words are needed with correction. If a child does not understand why he/she received punishment for a certain act, then a perverted understanding will come of discipline. Scripture also teaches that words without penalties are incomplete guidance. “Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell” (Prov. 23:13-14). Solomon is not saying a child should be abused or physically injured; the word “beat” could be translated “clap” or “to strike lightly.” Again, “Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying” (Prov. 19:18). All children need to know that freedom to choose either right or wrong does not free one from the consequences of doing wrong. The loving discipline of godly parents is far better than the cruel treatment of the far country.

Refuge.

Another critical aspect of parenting is providing a safe and secure place called home. A home is not just a place where one is fed, clothed, and sheltered. Physical necessities are only a small part of the needs of children. There is the emotional, mental, and especially spiritual development that is needed by children in those critical “growing up” years. The dwelling place of the family should be a place where peace is found.
It is natural for adolescents to spend more and more time away from their parents to develop relationships with others outside their own immediate family. However, some children leave because they do not consider their homes as great a refuge as they do the places where their peers reside. The turmoil lived out in so many families makes the home more a place of war than of peace. Solomon wrote, “Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith” (Prov. 15:17). Home is a place where children should want to live, not just have to live.

God’s Child

Topic(s): Family, Children, Parenting

Her neck stretches to see. Is he listening? Is he behaving himself? It was such a short time ago when she would complain “I did not hear a word the preacher spoke” but now her thoughts are distracted for another reason. Now her children are not beside her—they are “too big.” Her arms ache for a child squirming in her arms all through church. She stands to sing, and her body sways as if rocking a child. Where did the years go? Was it worth all those frustrating Sunday mornings? Sunday nights? Wednesday nights? Oh, there he is, Look at him…he’s singing. His eyes are attentive. She feels so much joy. Look! There’s my child. No. He’s God’s child!